The Loudspeaker That Got the Milking Parlor
At a dairy expo in Stephenville, the announcement system picks up my milking parlor radio, and the crowd hears a very long weather report.
We hold a dairy expo each spring in the big hall in Stephenville, with booths, a sheep shearing demonstration, and a lunch line that stretches around the building. I am always asked to make the announcements. For years I did them on a quiet little microphone that never gave me trouble.
This year, the committee installed a brand new sound system, shiny and expensive, with a wireless setup that could reach all corners of the hall. What the committee did not know was that the new system shared a frequency with the old radio in my milking parlor, which I had left playing that morning because the cows prefer a steady voice. I was standing at the podium when it happened.
I took a breath, leaned into the microphone, and the entire hall was filled with a deep, calm voice announcing a long forecast for the Gulf Coast. Everyone looked up. A man at the cheese booth set down his cracker. The voice described a high pressure ridge over Mexico in great detail. I tried to speak over it, but the system gave me about one word in five.
For the next ten minutes, the expo ran on weather. I said, 'Welcome, everyone,' and the radio said, 'Scattered showers possible along the coast.' I said, 'Lunch is now served,' and the radio said, 'Winds out of the south at twelve.' The crowd settled in. A woman at the front took notes. Somebody started a pool on what the humidity would be.
Eventually a volunteer ran to my barn and shut off the radio. The hall returned to normal, and I finished my announcements in silence and apology. Afterward, a rancher shook my hand and said it was the most useful thing he had heard all week. We kept the new system, and the radio stays off during expos. For a more reliable way to follow forecasts, the National Weather Service sends them without a milking parlor, and for more of my mix-ups there is farm.FM.