Top 10 Funniest Things That Ever Happened on My Dairy

I have emceed more dairy field days around Stephenville than I can count, and these ten tall tales are the ones the crowd still brings up at every barbecue.

1. The Cheese Carving Judge and the Look-Alike

   At the Stephenville cheese carving contest, a block of cheddar comes out looking exactly like the head judge, and she finds out last.

2. The Butter Cow Takes the Afternoon Off

   Our county fair butter cow in Stephenville melts into a pleasant golden puddle during a heat wave, and the crowd decides it is modern art.

3. The Field Day Tent That Went to Oklahoma

   A gust of wind lifts our field day tent off its stakes in Stephenville, and the crowd hangs on to the poles like a very large kite.

4. Seat Twelve Belonged to a Cow

   At the annual dairy banquet in Stephenville, a heifer wanders in and takes seat twelve, and the seating chart holds firm.

5. Four Hundred Gallons of Vanilla

   A church ice cream social in Stephenville plans for fifty people and accidentally churns four hundred gallons of vanilla.

6. The Papier-Mache Cow Who Stole the Parade

   Our papier-mache cow float wins the Stephenville parade after a goat climbs aboard and takes over the whole show with perfect rhythm.

7. The Calf Who Judged the Judge

   At the 4-H calf show in Stephenville, a young Jersey leads the judge in a slow circle around the ring and wins the class easily.

8. The Karaoke Night the Herd Joined

   A barn karaoke night near Stephenville gets an unexpected backup chorus when the whole herd follows the speakers across the pasture.

9. The Loudspeaker That Got the Milking Parlor

   At a dairy expo in Stephenville, the announcement system picks up my milking parlor radio, and the crowd hears a very long weather report.

10. The Door Prize Was a Heifer

    A raffle for a gift basket at our Stephenville scholarship dinner goes sideways when the winning ticket turns out to belong to a heifer.